Whatever you do… don’t turn on that light!

Solar flare erupting from the Sun toward Earth in space
A powerful solar eruption races toward Earth against a star-filled sky.

QUESTION: Solar flare is to Coronal Mass Ejection (CME) as:

A: Dog is to cat.

B. Muzzle flash is to cannonball.

C. Bow is to arrow.

D. All of the above

E. None of the above

ANSWER: B – Muzzle flash is to cannonball.

Pretty sure this wasn’t on the SATs, but one thing is certain: Earth—along with its inner sister planets—has been a cosmic clay pigeon for billions of years.

Every year, new technology uncovers more about how our Sun works—yet the deeper we look, the more we realize some mysteries are better off unsolved. It’s like turning the doorknob on a room that’s been sealed for as long as you can remember. You take a regretful breath, flick on the light, and face a swarm of flaming bats heading straight for you. But here’s the real threat: it’s when you don’t see the bats coming, that’s when the bats are coming.

Our Sun (Sol) is like that room: But we’re not talking bats and fire. Imagine an unbroken, self-sustaining thermonuclear detonation where anything that is anything is being torn to subatomic pieces, burning at 27 million degrees Fahrenheit. Millions of nuclear warheads detonating simultaneously, without end, for billions of years.

There are many religions, both ancient and modern, which hold our sun as a central figure–– and for good reason–– Sol is both our keeper and our destroyer.

But every now and then, through the ebb and flow of solar cycles, which last approximately 11 years each, our Sun reaches her hand across the vastness to caress us. A show of love and beauty, reminding Earth is her child. This display comes in the form of Solar Flares and Coronal Mass Ejections (CME). But it is the CME–– a cloud of physical solar matter (plasma and magnetic fields) thrown into space by a solar flare (mussel flash) reaching our eyes eight minutes later, while the CME (canon ball) can take three or four days. When a CME reaches Earth, it causes geomagnetic storms in the atmosphere–– those spectacular aurorae. The colors of the aurorae are determined by two main factors: the chemical gases in the atmosphere (oxygen, nitrogen) and the altitude of those interactions.

The Carrington Event was the most intense CME to collide with Earth ever recorded, occurring in 1859, September 1st through 2nd during Solar Cycle 10. So intense was the CME that when the plasma and magnetic radiation reached Earth, it upended the telegraph stations, sending charged particles along the wires, shocking the telegraph operators, and in some cases catching the paper on fire. The auroras from that CME were seen as far as South America and Australia.

A more recent, but not nearly as powerful as the CME of 1859, occurred in 1989, affecting Hydro-Québec’s electricity transmission system. The Auroras from that CME were seen as far south as Texas and Florida, some call-in to local officials panicing that a nuclear war had broken out.

If a Carrington-level CME struck Earth today, the sudden distortion of our magnetosphere would induce direct current (DC) into long-distance, high-voltage transmission lines. This surge would quickly saturate extra-high-voltage (EHV) transformers—leading to catastrophic core overheating, widespread grid collapse, and permanent equipment destruction in a matter of seconds.These transformers are custom built, weigh several hundred tonnes and have a manufacturing lead time in months. it would leave cities and communities in darkness for extended periods of time.

Beyond the immediate failure of the power grid, the secondary fallout of a Carrington-level CME would cascade across virtually every layer of modern infrastructure. While a CME differs fundamentally from a high-altitude Electromagnetic Pulse (EMP), its indirect consequences would be far-reaching.

Modern society relies on a continuous supply of electricity to maintain basic life-support utilities. A prolonged, multi-region grid failure would trigger immediate operational collapses:

  • Water & Sanitation: Municipal water treatment facilities and pressure pumps rely heavily on the electric grid. Without auxiliary power, running water, sewage processing, and sanitation systems would fail within hours to days.
  • Fuel & Logistics: Gas station pumps cannot operate without power. Fuel logistics and supply lines would grind to a halt, cutting off diesel deliveries for emergency generators.
  • Financial & Commercial: ATMs, card processing networks, and banking servers would go offline, freezing electronic commerce and cash access simultaneously.
  • Municipal Infrastructure: The loss of traffic lights, HVAC systems in high-rise buildings or hospitals, and emergency communication networks would create immediate urban gridlock and safety hazards.

The geomagnetic disturbance extends far above Earth’s surface, impacting space-based assets and global connectivity:

  • Satellites & GPS: High-energy particles from a massive CME cause atmospheric expansion, increasing drag on low-Earth orbit satellites and disrupting their operations. Solar radiation can fry delicate satellite electronics, disabling global positioning (GPS) and space-based communication networks.
  • Transatlantic & Subsea Cables: Submarine telecommunication cables rely on power feed equipment and inline repeaters spaced across the ocean floor. Induced currents traveling through long ocean stretches can overload and destroy these optical amplifiers, severing international internet traffic.

A common misconception is that a solar storm will destroy unpowered personal electronics, such as smartphones, laptops, or modern cars. This stems from confusing a Coronal Mass Ejection (CME) with a High-Altitude Nuclear Electromagnetic Pulse (HEMP).

The Reality for Personal Devices: Your smartphone, laptop, or car would physically survive a CME completely unharmed. However, without cell towers, internet backbones, functional GPS constellations, or a working power grid to recharge them, those personal electronics would effectively be rendered useless bricks.

Maybe not knowing what is heading our way is bliss, but If you still wish to open that door and turn on the light, then sign up on a good space weather app to get alerts. I chose to use NOAA’s Space Weather Prediction Center. A typical alert looks like this: (see below: This was from Nov. 4th, 2021… now, as of this writing). This is a G3, K-index of 7….. considered strong and likely to disrupt HF radio and some navigation. The lucky ones might be able to see an Aurora

Aurora may be seen as low as Pennsylvania to Iowa to Oregon.

.

Email from SWPC Product Subscription Service detailing a geomagnetic alert with K-index of 7, indicating strong space weather conditions.

To aid you in what the K-index, NOAA Scale and horizontal Geomagnetic latitude are: use these charts:

A table displaying the impact of geomagnetic storms on various systems, including power systems, spacecraft operations, and other systems, categorized by scale from G1 (minor) to G5 (extreme) with descriptions of potential effects.
A map illustrating geomagnetic latitudes at a 350 km apex elevation, showing contour lines across the globe with longitude and latitude markings.

Was Mars an unlucky clay pigeon? Maybe one day we will find out.

Between tracking CMEs, EMP threats, and the lingering nightmare of a laboratory-engineered pathogen, my focus keeps drifting from fictional world-building to real-world survival prep. Investing in a DIY portable solar generator and dialing in a functional 72-hour bug-out bag isn’t paranoia—it’s practical insurance. Still, I’m holding out hope that these scenarios remain strictly within the realm of science fiction.

MyoMINT: Pedal, Earn Crypto, Save The Planet

Silicon Valley’s $2.2 Billion Secret is Finally Out of the Box. MyoMint has joined forces with CryptoCycles to revolutionize your workout, earn crypto and save the planet.

“They said we couldn’t monetize human perspiration. They were wrong.” Today, Ctenophora Capital is proud to announce a historic $2.2 billion Series A merger between MyoMINT and CryptoCycles. “We aren’t just disrupting fitness; we’re proof-of-work-ing your quads. Why burn calories for free when you can turn every drop of sweat into digital gold? Welcome to the era of the ‘Human Hashrate.'”

Tired of expensive gym memberships that only cost you money? Imagine a world where your dedication to fitness pays you back, while simultaneously contributing to a greener future!

Introducing the MyoMint CryptoCycle – the groundbreaking innovation now arriving at forward-thinking gyms worldwide! 🚀

Here’s how it works:

💪 Sweat for Crypto: Step onto a MyoMint CryptoCycle and let your pedal power do more than just burn calories. Our integrated MyoMint mining device, seamlessly built into the rear hub, harnesses your kinetic energy to solve complex cryptographic hashes.

💰 Free Membership & Shared Rewards: That’s right! Participating gyms are offering FREE memberships to users who commit to exercising on MyoMint CryptoCycles! You’ll be splitting the revenue generated from newly minted MyoMint coins, meaning every pedal stroke increases your crypto wallet. Get fit, stay healthy, and earn a passive income – all at no cost!

🌍 Massive Energy Savings: Traditional cryptocurrency mining consumes colossal amounts of energy, often from fossil fuels. MyoMint CryptoCycles flip the script! By transforming human pedal power into a clean, sustainable energy source for mining, we’re set to save monumental amounts of electricity, drastically reducing the carbon footprint of crypto.

Here are some images of MyoMint CryptoCycles in action, powering both bodies and blockchain:

MyoMint has joined forces with CryptoCycles to ro revolutionize your workout, earn crypto and save the planet.

✨ A Fitter, Greener Future: This isn’t just about earning crypto; it’s about building a sustainable future. MyoMint encourages physical activity, combats sedentary lifestyles, and champions environmental responsibility. Imagine entire gyms becoming powerhouses of clean energy generation, making both people and the planet healthier!

Join the MyoMint Movement!

Ask your local gym if they’re ready to embrace the future of fitness and finance. Experience the satisfaction of knowing every drop of sweat is contributing to your wealth and the well-being of our planet.

#MyoMint #CryptoCycle #FitnessForFuture #EarnWhileYouBurn #SustainableCrypto #GreenTech #GymLife #FutureOfFitness


System Performance & Yield Metrics

Projected for a 175lb (80kg) “Data-Athlete” at Max Effort

MetricLevel 1: “Casual Cruiser”Level 2: “Chainbreaker”Level 3: “Elite Miner”
Cadence (RPM)60 RPM95 RPM120+ RPM
Power Output100 Watts250 Watts400+ Watts
Hashrate (MH/s)1.2 MH/s4.8 MH/s12.5 MH/s
Calories Burned350 kcal/hr850 kcal/hr1,200+ kcal/hr
Daily Yield0.4 MYO1.8 MYO5.0 MYO
Physical TollLight GlowHeavy SweatExistential Dread

The “Scientific” Formula

Our proprietary algorithm, developed by CtenoPhore’s lead bio-engineers, uses the following Proof-of-Perspiration ($PoP$) equation to determine your payout:

Note: For safety reasons, the CryptoCycle will automatically engage the “Brake-Mining” system if your heart rate exceeds 190 BPM, redirecting excess kinetic energy to charge the gym’s emergency exit signs.

MyoMint already has a standalone version in trials. The Name: MyoMINT Velo-Stasis™

Derived from the Latin “Velo” (fast/speed) and “Stasis” (referencing the balance of power).

The Model Number: 500-TH/s “Ouroboros” Edition

A nod to the infinite loop of energy generation, as well as the 500 Terahash display shown in your image.


Marketing Blurb for the Product Page

“Don’t just ride. Validate.”

The Velo-Stasis 500-TH/s is the world’s first wheel-integrated ASIC miner designed for the ultra-endurance athlete. While your peers are worried about “aerodynamics,” you’re focused on Network Difficulty.

Featuring the CtenoPhore-Grip™ Hub, this unit transforms the kinetic energy of every descent into pure cryptographic proof. Whether you’re climbing the Alps or commuting to your tech startup, the Velo-Stasis ensures that while your legs are losing watts, your wallet is gaining blocks.


Key Features (Based on the Hardware in the Image)

Tungsten-Reinforced Spoke Integration: Engineered to withstand the massive torque generated when you’re “sprinting for the block reward.”

Aero-Cooling Heatsinks: Exposed copper fins utilize natural 25mph headwinds to keep the hashboard at optimal temperatures without the need for heavy fans.

The ‘Glass Cockpit’ HUD: A fork-mounted, crystal-polymer display providing real-time feedback on your current $PoP$ (Proof-of-Perspiration) yield.

Photon-Sync LEDs: Blue and green status lights indicate when you’ve successfully validated a transaction (and when your cadence is too low to maintain the hash-rate).

The “Grindset” Enthusiast

“I used to waste 45 minutes a day on a regular stationary bike like a total amateur. Now, thanks to MyoMINT, my morning cardio session just covered 0.0004% of a transaction fee on the blockchain. I’m not just burning fat; I’m generating liquidity. My quads are shredded, and my digital wallet is… well, it’s vibrating. #Nodaysoff #ProofOfPerspiration” — Chadwick ‘The Chain’ Sterling, Early Adopter

The Skeptical-But-Hooked Gym Member

“Initially, I was annoyed that the gym replaced the TVs with real-time hash-rate monitors. But after three hours of high-intensity interval sprinting, I earned enough MyoMINT tokens to buy a single sugar-free electrolyte water. I’ve lost 12 pounds this week mostly because I refuse to stop pedaling until I see the green ‘Block Mined’ light flash. It’s not an addiction, it’s an investment.” — Brenda V., Professional Spin-Miniter

The “Visionary” Gym Owner

“Since partnering with CryptoCycles and the CtenoPhore group, our utility bill has dropped to zero because we just wire the members directly into the local power grid. We tell our clients: ‘If the lights flicker, you’re slacking.’ It’s a win-win. They get a free membership, and I get a 90% cut of their kinetic output. That’s the beauty of decentralization.” — Marcus Vane, CEO of ‘Gains & Graphs’ Fitness

The “Technical” Expert

“People asked if a $2.2 billion investment was too much. I say, have you seen the torque on a frantic triathlete? We’ve calculated that if we can get 10,000 people to sprint simultaneously during a market dip, we can stabilize the entire MyoMINT ecosystem while simultaneously curing sedentary lifestyles. The math is undeniable.” — Dr. Silas ‘Sprocket’ Finch, Chief Kinetic Officer at CtenoPhore

The Mandatory April Fools Disclaimer

For more posts like this April Fools Joke, visit WWW.DavidNadas.com

⚠️ WARNING: CtenoPhore Capital and MyoMINT are not responsible for:

  • Severe dehydration caused by “One last block” syndrome.
  • Calf muscles becoming so large they no longer fit in standard trousers.
  • The extreme social isolation that comes from explaining your “hub-integrated blockchain validator” to your cycling club.
  • Market volatility. If the coin drops 20% mid-climb, you are legally required to pedal 20% faster to maintain your ego.